Wednesday, February 25, 2009

moms at the zoo

A very late blog tonight; Kiddokabiddo and I did indeed go to the zoo, and then I hit up Ash Wednesday service, and then did my evening work.

So. The zoo. First of all, it is CRAZY to carry an almost-14-pound baby on the front of your chest, and a pack (CARRYING ESSENTIALS! Two diaper changes, wipes, a back-up carrier [ok, that was NOT essential, but it might have been], a Zone bar, a Klean Kanteen [MADE OF ALUMINUM! I thought it was supposed to be LIGHT!], a small plastic pig, and wallet/cell/keys) weighing at least 14 pounds on your back. Yee-ikes. Last time we were at the zoo, I carried the Kiddo and Vee took the diaper bag, but today I was an URBAN WARRIOR, going it alone.

I ran into a couple of moms that I know from the local babywearing board I belong to, and I also saw ABOUT 9,000 SUBURBAN MOMS TREKKIN' IT WITH HIGH-TECH STROLLERS! Holy crow. I seriously saw one that sat THREE KIDS, all in a straight line. Please, PLEASE, don't let me ever have three kids at the same age that "need" strollers.

It was kind of an interesting exhibit in mwomdom. There were a lot of moms doggin' it in gray sweats and tennis shoes, but an EQUAL number of moms doing it up FASHION STYLE with "cute" clothes. You know, "I might be pushing a baby, who might happen to be mine, but I'm lookin' so fine you can't BELIEVE I had a baby" clothes.

Not that you HAVE TO LOOK LIKE A MWOM WHEN YOU HAVE KIDS, but come ON. This is not struttin' Fifth Ave: you are at the zoo. At noon. On a Wednesday. We all know that you are here because you stay at home and you have a "kid" in that streamlined running stroller. Not that I can tell, since the shade is drawn, but I believe there is one in there since you've got a bottle of formula stuck next to the Diet Pepsi in your cupholders.

I shouldn't be judging! It's Ash Wednesday, the day for HUMILITY above all. Here, then: I was trying to look like a "hip" mom by wearing my baby in a cool baby carrier (the Beco I am still borrowing) and I was wearing dark jeans and a "cool" t-shirt. I think I looked more like a teenage mom than a "cool" mom, but Kiddo didn't know!

Anyway, by the time we got to the gorilla exhibit, Kiddokabiddo was out for the count and snoozing her head off in the carrier, so I sat on a ledge and watched myself for awhile. It was a really depressing experience. There was a group of fourth graders on a school field trip, and they kept pounding on the glass to get the big dad gorilla to react for them. Finally, Dad Gorilla pummeled the glass right against where they had pressed their snide little mugs and the kids ran delightedly screaming away.

And then ran back up and kept taunting the poor gorilla.

Dad Gorilla turned his back on them for awhile, but then he stood up, shook back and forth, and pulled a poop out (really. This is not for the fourth-grader in you--it really happened) and smeared it on the glass where the kids were. Then smacked the glass hard and walked away. But he couldn't catch a break--there were three other little monkeys hanging out with Dad Gorilla and Mom Gorilla in their environment, and one of the little monkeys started shit with Dad Gorilla, menacing after him. Dad Gorilla actually started backing up and away from Little Monkey (who was EASILY 1/8 his size).

I was glad the Kiddo slept through all that.


Rando said...

What happened after Dad Gorilla backed up? Did Little Monkey leave him alone?

PS- Are the fashionable zoo moms not "evading mwom?" Discuss.

Grace said...

How depressing indeed! Perhaps the gorilla incident provided all the more reason not to want 3 kids at stroller age

kristine said...

LM did leave Dad Gorilla alone after he got him to cower. POWER IN THE COWER!

As far as evading mwom by wearing fashionable clothes, MWOMDOM IS IN THE HEART, not always on the sleeve.