Wednesday, April 29, 2009

I'll try to be on time...

I can't even keep my own promises--it was another CRAZY DAY yesterday, topped off with Kiddo waking EVERY TWO HOURS overnight, so I am writing this on a minimum amount of sleep.


This date is notable for two main things:

1.) Kiddo is 11 months old, which is insane since it means I only have one more month before my baby becomes A YEARLING.

2.) It is THAT MAGICAL DAY OF THE YEAR when my brother and I email/call/surprise each other with the lyrics to "April 29" by the Rembrandts.

"Oh, you mean that band who sang the 'Friends' song?" I can hear your mind saying to itself, "Come on, did they actually put out an ALBUM?"

Yes, y'all, THEY DID.

Said album has a number of forgettable mid-90s-pop-ish songs on it, but UNFORGETTABLE is APRIL 29, a little ditty about a guy who gets out of the insane asylum on April 29th and is calling his partner to come pick him up.

You think I jest?

JUST CLICK HERE for the lyrical masterpiece; I wish to God they had a Youtube video, and as I threatened my brother, I had grand plans to create one to catch him this year. Unfortunately for me, since my brother is in South Korea, IT BECOMES APRIL 29TH ONE DAY EARLIER, so he busted me last night.

I don't know why we started the tradition; it began back when he was a freshman in high school and I was a senior and I thought it would be funny on April 29th when I drove us to school (in my Taurus; oh, my love for my old high school Taurus!) to start off our ride with that song. HOW APROPOS!

It evolved, as I left home for college, into us calling each other and nonchalantly reciting a lyric or two, like it was a normal part of the conversation.

"Hey Er"
"I'm so glad to see you; delighted that you came."
(internal: ? I didn't come visit you; I'm still at school...WAIT!)
"In a word, it's all arranged!"

Then the caller would sing "Unlock the door and THROW AWAY THE KEY! THE SUN IS SHINING (in this falsetto used by Rembrandt himself), WE'RE FINALLY FREE!" as the callee dissolved into giggles.

Look, it's really funny.

This day comes but once a year, and when it comes, it brings good cheer!

Monday, April 27, 2009

Grow Up, SHOW UP!

Hi guys. I kind of suck; it's been five days since I updated. CRAZY BUSY. Finals week is two weeks away at work, which means THIS week is my busiest since all the exams are rolling in and it's go-time. Also, this upcoming weekend, Vee, Kiddokabiddo, & I are cranking back up to MSP. TO SEE LEONARD COHEN! Vee and I are losing our minds--LEONARD COHEN! This is like seeing New Kids on the Block (which I DID do, thank you very much)--WE NEVER THOUGHT WE WOULD GET THE CHANCE!

Leonard Cohen was a high school FAVORITE of Vee's, and when we first started dating back in fall 2001, Ten New Songs had just came out. IT WAS THE FIRST CD WE EVER MADE OUT TO! (Sorry Kiddo; in eighteen years when you are allowed on the internet without my supervision and you find this blog, you will probably be embarassed. WE WERE YOUNG ONCE TOO!)

Wow. EARLY DATING YEARS ASIDE, Vee and I truly have an abiding love for Leonard Cohen (even forgiving "Dear Heather"...uhh, no. Sorry, buddy.) and are really excited about going.

But this blog shouldn't be about what we WILL be doing--I've got to catch you up on what I've DONE!

(swirly lines indicating that we are going "back in time")

Last Monday, I saw Gone With the Wind in the theater, which was basically one of the pinnacles of my LIFE, since I cannot even come close to approximately how deep my love is for Gone With the Wind, and how I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SEE IT IN A THEATER. Geez, upon reflection, maybe I have had low standards for my life or something, because with the NKOTB concert, the Leonard Cohen concert, and GWTW in the theater, my "never thought this would happen"s seem to be, well, happening.

Anyway! IT WAS AWESOME, and luckily I had already begun my routine and was several chapters into Scarlett, so it is easing the pain of the end of the movie.

My routine? Every time I try to guess at this number, I feel like people think I am exaggerating for comic effect. I'm not. So let me be conservative here. I have been reading Gone With the Wind and following it up with the sequel Scarlett at least three times a year since I was 12. That makes 42 reads. So we'll go with "I've read GWTW 42 times," even though I've read it more than that, I'm pretty sure.

IT'S A SICKNESS! And I DON'T EVEN CARE whatever shit you want to talk about Scarlett and how "it's not as good as GWTW" because I READ IT FIRST, and it colored my reading of GWTW, and TO ME, it is as necessary as milk with fresh chocolate chip cookies. NECESSARY BECAUSE I CAN'T STAND THE END OF GWTW! SO FRUSTRATING!

Every time I read GWTW and Scarlett, I catch something new. It's like the Bible, y'all. Watching GWTW this time, though, I realized something that was probably obvious to everyone I know, yet didn't click out of my subconscious until last Monday: I RELATE TO SCARLETT BECAUSE SHE IS ONE OF THE FEW CATHOLIC HEROINES I HAVE EVER SEEN IN A POPULAR NOVEL WHO IS NOT "RENOUNCING IT"!

I'll save my damnation of "Rhett Butler's People" (notice how I am putting it in quotes like it is not a real novel? BECAUSE IT SHOULDN'T HAVE BEEN!) for another post, but I am deep in Scarlett's adventures in Ireland right now and so the end of GWTW wasn't as bad.

Except, well, I had brought my Klean Kanteen full of water (it's a 3.5 hr movie, y'all) and inadvertently spilled it. Inside my purse. ON MY CELL PHONE. Which DIED, and which, when I brought it to the Sprint Store, the dude told me it would be $100 to fix.


Fortunately, I was prepared for this trickery, and whipped out my ancient cell phone from '04 and made the dude transfer my number to it.

So now I am casually sporting a hilariously Zach-Morris-style cell phone until Nov '09 when our contract comes back up and I am due for a new cell.

CATCH UP ON WED-FRI OF LAST WEEK TOMORROW, if I get the chance to break from frantic HTMLing and my daughter's other front tooth comes in (this is her sixth tooth, and the one she is SCREAMING at the most).

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Earth Day!

Happy Earth Day, y’all!

I’m sure you know by now that EARTH DAY IS EVERYDAY, but I know I’m personally glad we’ve got one day a year when even Target recognizes that it’s time to give back to the earth and hands out free reusable bags (though they were inexplicably doing this on Saturday and calling it “in honor of Earth Day”).

I haven’t always been green, I hope you know. Sure, like all the other kids in my elementary school, I planted a tree and sang about how animals “have to have a habitat” at the Oregon State University Earth Day Fair (we got to sing IN FRONT OF COLLEGE KIDS! It was THRILLING!), but when I moved out of my parents’ house, I was probably the messiest non-greener you can imagine. Tossing it all out (even though there was a recycling bin that, God bless my roommate Lily, got emptied out weekly) because it was more convenient, shopping it up at Wal-Mart with disregard for all the superfluous packaging (and even though I lived CLOSER to a HyVee, I was offended by the extra $0.10 they wanted for the same package of Little Debbies I could get out at Chaypest. Although I easily used an extra $1.00 of gas to get to Wal-Mart, thus negating any savings), and leaving my computer permanently on.

Yeah, I could have been worse, but the point is mostly that I just WASN’T THINKING.


We recycle everything we can get our hands on (and Lily, you might be pleased to know that I am the one driving the glass to the recycling center now), compost, use reusable bags at the grocery store/every store, leave all the lights off for 22/24 hours in the day (our house gets a lot of natural light), unplug appliances religiously, computers all go to standby/sleep mode, line-dry our clothes when possible (FINALLY SPRING!), use cloth diapers, are starting a rain barrel this weekend, and gave away all the strippings of our 90s house to thrift stores (Hey, SOMEONE must like bordello curtains and old faux-brass fixtures. Far be it from me to deny them the pleasure!).

Our consumer choices? Phosphate-free dishwasher detergent, natural laundry detergent, natural cleaning products (vinegar is amazing and works ON EVERYTHING!), local-grown food & produce when possible, VOC-free paint, VOC-free floors (BAMBOO your floors, guys—it’s a renewable resource, and you don’t want to know what you’re breathing in when you walk on carpet), Vee uses a manual push mower on our lawn, drive cars that routinely get 30mpg, and I just switched to the Diva Cup, y’all.

Support local—not just because you’re keeping money in the good old USA and preventing the unemployment rate from rising through job-outsourcing, but because your goods don’t travel as far to get to you, which means less auto emissions, which means you are singlehandedly helping keep the ozone layer intact just by shopping at the local stationery store instead of ordering your cards online (which requires the seller to drive to their local post office to mail the goods, the USPS guys to drive across the country to deliver to YOUR local post office, and your postal worker to drive to your mailbox).

Start small. Repurpose something in your house instead of buying something new. Refurbish something in your house instead of buying something new. Recycle something in your house and give it away instead of tossing it out because you don’t like it/don’t need it any more.

Use a smaller gob of shampoo in the shower (You only need a quarter size dollop. Can you believe that? I used to think you needed to COVER YOUR PALM. I wish I was joking).

Unplug an appliance you rarely use. Dude, it’s not that much of a hassle to plug it in again before you use it, and now you’re no longer wasting VAMPIRE POWER. Open your blinds/curtains. If you live somewhere warm, use the light strategically and tilt the blinds against the sun to keep the heat out, then when the sun shifts, open those blinds and tilt the other ones in your house.

Then, instead of driving to the mall or taking public transit (if you are doing this, I applaud you and wish I lived somewhere that recognized the importance of public transit and made it more accessible), take a walk around your neighborhood. Breathe in the place where you live, and breathe out good intentions.

You have to have a habitat!

Monday, April 20, 2009


Ordinarily, I'd start today's Monday blog with a weekend recap, especially since Vee and I were INCREDIBLY busy with home reno.

But my cursory scan of the news websites this morning reminded me of something that knocked on my teenage heart.

It's been 10 years since Columbine.

Just reading the name "Columbine" made my eyes start smarting and my throat choke up. It's almost impossible to tell you about the impact that Columbine had on me. I felt the shooting so intensely that it might as well have happened in my high school; every detail I read about it, I could see it in MY hallways, the west entrance to MY high school where they entered, MY cafeteria where the students clustered, the tables in MY library. The entire thing was so utterly shocking that I couldn't go to school for days afterward without picturing exactly how it would unfold in my school; that pervasive feeling that, really, there was no reason it DIDN'T happen at my school, wouldn't happen at my school.

My ANGER at the shooters for killing themselves and the first time I realized that, sometimes, you wouldn't GET to mete out justice. The pit-of-stomach fear I felt the next fall when, randomly, the lights all went out during second-period government class and we nervously chattered (and I think someone even joked, almost unbelievably, about Columbine) until the intercom came on and said the janitor had accidentally flipped the power switch and power would be back in a couple of minutes. My inability to comprehend how any of us could ever go back to school again, no matter how many security cops they stationed throughout the school, the following ban on carrying backpacks to class, the ensuing locking of the entrances after 8:30am so if you wanted to enter, you had to go through the front of the school.

I started having horrible fantasies about how no place, ANYWHERE, was ever REALLY safe from something like that happening. A church? Wal-Mart? Track practice? How can you look at every person bearing a duffle bag as anything other than a potential killer?

My freshman-year roommate at college was from Littleton. She went to the other high school, although whenever she told people where she was from, all anyone asked was "Did you know anyone at Columbine? That must have been awful." She said she didn't actually know anyone there, and nothing changed at her high school. She was a writer, and wrote short stories about how boring Littleton was when she was in high school, how she and her best friend called it "Little-fun."

I can't ever stop crying when I read about Columbine, or any of the other school shootings that followed. Virginia Tech brought me to my knees, my ultimate fear of shootings following me to college being recognized. The mall shooting in Omaha was more horrifying than I can speak.

My trust in humanity changed, ten years ago today. My heart goes out to everyone else who was changed that day, but especially to the students, faculty, and families of Columbine. God protect us.

Friday, April 17, 2009

Home Show: Promises, Promises!

Here at last, y'all! It's time to live the decal dream! (Well, 1/3 of it. ONE AT A TIME, ONE AT A TIME!)


First, I need to give you a tour of what we were working with. Hold onto your 1990 hat and experience...


This one really gives you full scope into the bathroom we lived in for too long. Sure, I didn't clutter the countertop with all of the potions and lotions as Mrs. 1990 (and WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT when people are home-touring? Talk about DE-EMPHASIZING THE ONE GOOD FEATURE OF THIS BATHROOM, the size of the countertop). But look in the mirror, my pretties, and see the wall color.

Mint green. With an incredibly corny border and MATCHING SHOWER CURTAIN.

Full disclosure (and I am truly ashamed to have to disclose this): we kept BOTH THE BORDER AND THE SHOWER CURTAIN up until mid-March. We moved in last May. NOT BECAUSE WE LIKED IT, but because we didn't know "what we were going to do to the room" and didn't want to buy something that wouldn't work. I don't know WHY we didn't at least remove the border.

BUT! When Gramma Goose and Grampa PhD were in town, we painted that sucker at last! And last night, after cursing our heads off while Kiddokabiddo slept and we tussled with our decals, I present to you:



Additional changes included swapping this light fixture

for this

Reno still to come: tiling the floor, replacing the blue countertop (with white soapstone? Thoughts? Suggestions?), and the purchase of dark brown toilet seat cover/shower mats.

Worth the wait?

Thursday, April 16, 2009

Home Show: Fake Out

It's kind of necessary for me to start today by announcing that, REGARDLESS of where My Best Friend gets married, I am thrilled to death that she has picked me as Honorable Woman and, as an honorable woman, I am also thrilled to death to help with the planning in any (and every) way I can.

Even if she gets married at the Taco Bell in the Haute (wouldn't that be AMAZING, btw, My Best Friend?).

We are so, so close to having the decals all put up on our walls, but Vee had to go strum his guitar last night at an Open Mike Jam, so I dutifully tried to watch television (no, seriously, I never watch TV any more. Case in point: my beloved, beloved ANTM? HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE EPISODE THIS SEASON. Working in the evening + yoga + baby = NO TUBE TIME) and couldn't find anything decent except home improvement shows.

Why are they so irresistible? LIKE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH HOME IMPROVEMENT IDEAS BOUNCING AROUND IN MY HEAD/NOTEBOOK that I need to watch shows where they are much craftier than myself and then come up with more impossibilities?

My current house fantasies include, among other things, adding a real front porch to our house, which would permit a porch swing and some semblance of privacy.

Our house now:

Our house in fantasy world:

Ok, I just really revealed my HORRIBLE skills on the computer. I swear that I work with HTML for a living! But can you get a basic idea? Toss down some cement on those horrible bushes, extend the diagonal roof over and make a (gently sloping for visual interest, naturally) roof over the porch?

What will we really be spending money on this spring?

Crabgrass prevention and replacing the busted terracing on the "diagonal garden" at the corner of our house where the logs have bowed out to the point that a little buddy (woodchuck? raccoon? gigantic rat?) has tunneled in and made a little home for himself/herself.

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

An Honorable Woman

My calves, thighs, butt, and feet have been aching since ~6pm yesterday, when Vee and I got back from my second walk of the day. I took Kiddo to the zoo (62 and sunny!) and hiking up and down those hills was ROUGH! I could feel my calves jeering at me, "Ohhhhh, so you decided TODAY you could WALK A LOT, huh? YOU CAN'T!" Luckily, I've got yoga tonight and I can beat my body up a little more to soften those muscles.

For those of you who know me in real life, I just became MATRON OF HONOR for My Best Friend, who got engaged last week. I've been excited about this for I-can't-even-tell-you-how-long; when we were angsty teenagers watching "A Wedding Story" on TLC for summers on end and convinced that we were too UGLY DUCKLING to ever get married, we bet each other $100 that the other one would get married first.

Coincidentally, I did happen to get married first, but it's no reflection on our teenage self-perceptions!

Anyway, My Best Friend was, naturally, my maid of honor, and did a FANTASTIC job planning and executing my bachelorette party in Nashville, flew up to northern MN for my bridal shower, handled the ordering of all the bridesmaid/flower girl dresses, and listened to me rampage about random wedding ephemera (which, looking back, was HILARIOUSLY not-important and totally bridezilla-y. Sorry, man!).

It didn't occur to me UNTIL AFTER I WAS MARRIED that, since she was MAID of honor in my wedding, that would mean I would have to be MATRON OF HONOR. MATRON! I am not old enough to be a matron. My substitute name for myself, "Honorable Woman," received an eyebrow raise from Vee. What, I'M NOT HONORABLE?

So my Honorable self hauled out ye olde wedding box with all our planning junk and leftover invitations and (humiliatingly) our final budget, and I got to work weeding through what I could pass on. And then a nagging suspicion occurred to me, and I fled back to my computer to check My Best Friend's Facebook update.


At least I can plan a killer bachelorette party!

Monday, April 13, 2009

Ahh, The Old Days

Easter weekend was great--more on that later, I'm still catching up the house/work/pics and applying THE DECALS tonight--so I'm taking the lazy way out and reposting TWENTY QUESTIONS on the Facebook CIRCLE OF MOMS app I opted into.

Yes, I said I opted into a Facebook app.


1. How old were you when your first child was born?
2. What month and year was your youngest child born?
May 2008
3. How did you feel when you first found out you were pregnant?
Cautiously excited--she was a surprise and for some psycho-first-time-mom reason, I thought it was an ectopic pregnancy so I didn't want to get too prepared
4. Who did you tell first?
Vee--I made him come into the bathroom (he knew I was taking the test) and stare at it with me because I needed verification that I was actually seeing two lines
5. How many pounds did you gain during your first pregnancy?
6. What did you crave while you were pregnant?
SHOWERS! Forget food, I could NOT get enough hot showers. For most of my pregnancy, I took at LEAST two showers a day, and ran the water down until it turned cold. It took away my nausea and heartburn and felt AMAZING!
7. Did you find out the gender of your first child? Why or why not?
Yep--I always swore I wouldn't, but during my first trimester, I felt like it was really important to me to talk to my growing child and use the correct pronoun. I don't know if I'll find out future kids, though. It was great, but now the big shock is over.
8. Did you have any complications during your pregnancy?
Nope. Blessedly!
9. How much did your first child weigh?
10. Was your first child early, late, or on time?
4 weeks and 1 day early
11. What is the most difficult challenge or health issue that any of your children have faced?
Kiddokabiddo developed jaundice, was on the bili belt 24hrs a day for 4 days straight, and lost a pound in a week. Then we fussed with nursing for over 12 weeks (I was pumping and we were feeding her with a syringe).
12. What's your favorite part of being a mom?
How much delight she brings to me as she learns new things. And watching my husband truly be THE PROUD DAD ANNOUNCING RANDOM BABY FACTS TO STRANGERS.
13. Do you think it's easier to be a mom or a dad?
a dad!
14. What is the best piece of advice you could give to someone who is about to have their first child?
Stop reading all of the books about what stage of growth your unborn baby is and START READING THE BOOKS ABOUT THE FIRST FEW WEEKS AFTER THE BABY IS BORN because you won't have time to do it once she/he is here!
15. Did you always think you'd have kids?
16. What's been the biggest surprise about motherhood?
How UNirritated I would get in the first few months when Kiddo would cry and need something--I genuinely wanted to just make her feel better, not stop her crying.
17. Are there things you miss about life before kids?
Travel! Travel! Travel!
18. How many children do you have?
19. Do you plan to have any more children?
20. Who's the mom that you admire most?
I take something from every mom I know!

Thursday, April 9, 2009


Life's been busy on our side of the river, having My Best Friend in town and then getting ourselves packed and ready to spend Easter with Gramma Goose, Grampa PhD, and AKA. I swear, I really am going to do a blog about the kitchen and bathroom renovations. The hold-up on the bathroom hinges on the arrival of some art I ordered for it.

Oh, ok, I'll show you the art at least.

CHECK THAT OUT! No, that's not my bathroom (a couch? a lamp? get real!) but THOSE BIRCH TREES WILL SOON BE LIVING ON MY BATHROOM WALL! We ordered this decal from Leen the Graphics Queen on etsy, and while we were at it, we also ordered the following decals for our hall & living room:



So, basically, we are going to have the coolest house ever. Permanently on our quest to de-mwomify it.

As Lent is winding down and our home parish started pumping up reminders for Confession (we're calling it RECONCILIATION these days; much more approachable, right?), I have to admit that I am feeling bad that I haven't done one since the night before my wedding. Over two years ago. I meant to go on Tuesday night after my haircut, but it didn't start until 7:30, and I had to get myself in front of a computer screen to work by 7pm. Last night, as I was driving home from my first yoga class through the local community college (not my first yoga class EVER, which is FORTUNATE since the instructor basically assumed everyone knew proper poses for Down Dog, etc.), I passed by a Catholic church with its Lenten reconciliation services posted...and one was occurring at that very moment. I almost turned into the driveway and just got 'er done, but I had to get home and, again, get to work.

Which made me think: what's more important, working on my PAID EMPLOYMENT or working on my SOUL?

(Note: that is a hypothetical question designed to alleviate some guilt while drawing out some more. Obviously, if I am being paid by my employer to be working during X hours, I better BE there and be working. Conversely, there is nothing more important than cleaning one's soul and no excuses to the Lord at the end of it all by muttering, "Sorry, dog, I was working. You know. At my job. Ahem.")

Anyway, tomorrow is Good Friday, and it will be a Good Friday for me since my mom, sister, and I are "going to tea" to have lady-girl-bonding-time. My extended family is coming over to my parents' house on Saturday for dinner, then on Sunday morning it's Easter service, then Vee, Kiddo, and I are back on the road, back home to our house where, coincidentally, the Easter Bunny will have arrived for the first time in Kiddo's life.

Have a great Easter and End-of-Lent, y'all!

Monday, April 6, 2009

Weekend Revel: BFF Y'ALL!

Hope y'all had a great weekend...ummm, we got SNOW on Sunday, but I had a great weekend anyway since My Best Friend was here visiting from NC!

My Best Friend is also Kiddokabiddo's godmother, so after she godmothered her a bit (reading books and getting her a promise ring and whatnot), we did WINE NIGHT OUT at this bougey wine store/wine bar. Except we had champagne. This is highly unlike me; I can count on one hand the number of nights I have drunk champagne (Shannon's 21st Birthday [OMFG], my wedding reception, when Vee got his graduate assistantship, and Friday night).


We also rented "My First Wedding" on Friday night. The tagline for the movie? "He's so NOT a priest!" And that kind of explains it all. Rachael Leigh Cook was in it. My Best Friend fell asleep during it and I didn't even bother to finish the movie because it was that dumb.

Vee made us eggs and waffles on Saturday morning, which made us discuss a very real phenomenon: when you dine out for breakfast/brunch, you have two choices.

You can order eggs/an egg dish, and you will feel inspired to be productive with the rest of your day.

You can order waffles/a sweet dish, and you will laze around for the remainder of the afternoon until ashamedly making a "grocery run" or some other excuse to get out of the house at 6:30pm.

We had BOTH, which left us VERY CONFLICTED! We lazed around until 1pm, and then we drove out west to look at the house that the people who owned our house before us "upgraded" to when they left. Yes, we found that information.

FAILURE CITY! They "upgraded" to a smaller house, on a smaller lot, with NO backyard, NO landscaping, and (we should have seen this coming) cheaped out on details (this was obviously new construction). THEY DIDN'T STAIN THE PILLARS ON THE FRONT PORCH! It looked HORRIBLE!

"But they stayed in a swanky school district! And got to pick out their upgrades!"

Ok, they did NOT upgrade, and I could have told you that after moving into this 18 year old house which we know for a FACT they lived in for EIGHT YEARS and still had a HEARTY collection of 1990 crap (which was when the house was BUILT) decorating decisions.

While we were in new construction hell, My Best Friend and Vee took the opportunity to tour a new construction model home while I nursed Kiddo. I joined them for the second one, and got ramrodded into a "What kind of house are you looking for?! How much are you willing to spend?!" conversation by a desperate real estate agent who, even after we told her we JUST BOUGHT A HOUSE IN 2008, apparently thought we were LOOKING TO SELL AND BUY A PIECE OF NO-PRIVACY SHIT ON THE EDGE OF TOWN.

Look, if I am ever looking to spend $350,000 on a house, I can guaran-damn-tee you that I will NOT BE BUYING SOMETHING WHERE THE MASTER WINDOW IS LITERALLY 6 FEET FROM THE EDGE OF THE PROPERTY (and where the house which hasn't yet been built will almost CERTAINLY have a window peering in).

My Best Friend and I ate dinner at an "upscale Tex-Mex restaurant" that night, and got seated out on the patio with literally ALL PRIVATE PARTIES AROUND US. There was a bridal shower behind us, a 60th birthday party to our right, a bachelorette party to our left, and to our far left...PROM! Apparently it is the IN THING now to wear a jacket over your prom dress that matches your date's suit jacket...except it OBVIOUSLY ISN'T SINCE HE IS WEARING HIS. Are we trying to convince our classmates that HE'S SO INTO ME HE GAVE ME HIS JACKET WHEN I SAID I WAS COLD?

We woke up to SNOW on Sunday morning (although NOT the 3-6 inch fear factor hell we had been led to expect by; oh,, you overdramatic whore, I can count on the "projected" weather to always be at least 20% less dire than you predict) and we gorged on a farmhouse breakfast (no, seriously, I had the New York Deli omelette, which has like 12 kinds of cheese in it) after "fighting" through the "ice." I made My Best Friend a rainbow chip birthday cake with rainbow chip frosting (the ONLY kind of cake) and we went to Palm Sunday Mass. And sat in the Cry Room since Kiddo was rowdy. And watched two rowdier kids use their palms as swords to duel.

After Facebook-spying on people we used to know, we were cashed out, and spent today lounging around the house and tracking down my bluster-blown trash can (it flew TWO WHOLE BLOCKS DOWN THE ROAD! Prairie wind, hear my call!) before I brought My Best Friend back to the airport.

Miss her already!

Friday, April 3, 2009

Blog Party Music Week Friday

Well, y'all, we're at the end of the line and the end of a great week of blog music picks! MUCH LOVE to Magchunk, Sweetie Pie Pumpkin Noodle, and You Are My Fave for such an awesome blog challenge--I was DELIGHTED to participate.

And now, gulp back your incredulity, and feast on these, my Best Karaoke Songs, all of which I have actually, um, karaoked to: (the two times I ever have, and HOLD ONTO YOUR SHIT, BECAUSE WE'VE GOT PICTURES)

#1: March 2005, small beer bar in the Midwest:

"Save a Horse, Ride a Cowboy" by Big & Rich

#2-#5: May 2007, Desert Hot Springs, the meth hellpit west of Palm Springs, California, where Vee, Shannon, Nathan, and Pete and I were the only 20-somethings for miles around. We stayed at a motel with access to the springs open 24 hours, and, yes, IT WAS KARAOKE NIGHT. With the exception of two late-30-something women and one of their scammy-looking dudes, it was JUST US AND THE KARAOKE CZAR. We kind of took over. Below is the proof.

"Bitch" by Meredith Brooks

(I know you don't believe me after seeing the clothes on the 30-something women in this picture, but I'm telling you: it was May 2007)

"Flavor of the Weak" by American Hi-Fi

"Gypsy" by Fleetwood Mac

(I think this is "Rock the Casbah" by The Clash; of course, at this point in the night, it could have been anything)

Thursday, April 2, 2009

Blog Party Music Week Thursday

Against reason, and against good taste, I present to you my Guilty Pleasure Songs:

"Pony" by Ginuwine

ALWAYS was carefully calibrated by my friend Nathan (who made all of the mixes for our house parties in college) to come on when I would assuredly be at my peak of drunkenness and would ALWAYS elicit a scream from me, a command for center stage, and a really raunchy routine. WHAT ELSE WOULD YOU EXPECT FROM AN "ARTIST" WHOSE NAME IS MADE UP OF 2 CHEAP FORMS OF ALCOHOL?

"Need a Boss" by Shareefa/Ludacris

My first introduction to this song was back in '07 when Vee and I were spring breaking in Boston and sharing the Lieutenant's twin bed in his dorm room (hey! We were grad students at the time; you think we could afford a hotel?). At 7am, the Lieutenant cranked this song and BLASTED THE WALLS of the place getting his dudes up and psyched for the lacrosse game later that day.

Somehow I forgave my bro-in-law for waking me up at 7am on my vacation, probably because after one more repetition made me UTTERLY LOVE THIS SONG! Probably NOTHING more than Luda's rap when he talks about "fifteen bank accts, ten different bidnesses, five different lawyers: TELL THEM WHAT THEIR BUSINESS IS!"

"Faded" by soulDecision

What is it with me and drunken anthems? MAYBE THAT THEY ARE AMAZING! He doesn't even have a prelude at the start of this song! "When I get you all alone, I'm gonna take off all your clothes."

edit: This is really embarassing. I just played it and realized that he actually says, "I'm gonna move in nice and close" instead of "I'm gonna take off all your clothes." I AM NOT THAT DIRTY, Y'ALL, I JUST THOUGHT THAT'S WHAT HE WAS SAYING!


The hilarious thing is LOOK AT THE DUDE WHO'S SINGING IT! Do you really feel like his blond crew-cut Zach-Morris ass could make his move on a girl who's "only a friend"?

"When the Lights Go Out" by 5ive

Ok, remember when Napster started cracking down and shutting down the amazing world of free music? (Thanks METALLICA) And when you got busted, they were kind enough to send you a note letting you know what song you had in your collection that was the culprit?

Yep. This one.


"Yeah, Whatever" by Splender

Lily will understand this one. What can I say? It was the late 90s again, and I was totally into SCREAMING BALLADS OF INDULGENT TEENISM! And, um, still am.


Wednesday, April 1, 2009

I Wish I was April Fooling

When my rentinos, Gramma Goose and Grampa PhD, were in town, we dined at a fancy restaurant out on the west side of town. Since we were DININ' OUT, I wore my favorite pair of earrings.

Hold on, I have to talk about this pair of earrings.

So I got this pair of earrings way back in November 2006 to wear to a party celebrating my marriage, and they were SOOOOOO AWESOME that I wore them all the time afterwards. This hot pair of medium-size hoops with random black beads strung through the twisted metal. They were GORGEOUS!

I felt so cool when I would wear them with "just a t-shirt and jeans." Corny, but true.

Anyway, sometime during late Dec/early Jan 2007, one of the earrings took a hike. It was MYSTERIOUS! I conducted a full-out apartment scour for it, going through boxes I knew I hadn't been in for months leading up to the Earring Disappearance. I went through my summer clothes. I went through my winter clothes. I looked in vents and under rugs. My Favorite Earrings were no longer a pair.

Having had my ears pierced for over 15 years, this was hardly the first time this had happened to me. I can count on one hand, however, the number of Lone Rangers I am still holding onto hoping beyond hope that the missing one will make its way back to me (Black enamel heart stud, wherefore went thee? Gold peace sign dangler, I am talking to you too!).

With a sigh, I consigned Favorite Earring to the jewelry box so that AT LEAST someday I could have a template for finding a replacement.

Flash forward now to Christmas 2008. In my house. Three states away from the Earring Disappearance. My parents and sister were visiting, and we had just opened presents. I started cleaning up the wrapping debris on the floor, and WHAT I SAW MADE ME START.


Before I could breathe, I darted back to the bedroom and looked in my jewelry box.


I brought it out, shock and awe on my face, and reunited the sisters. TO THIS DAY, I cannot explain how the Missing Earring wound up in my house. IT WAS GONE BEFORE I WENT TO MINNESOTA FOR CHRISTMAS in 07, so it couldn't have been attached to reused Christmas wrap bags!


So, two weeks ago, I decided to give My Favorite Earrings a coming-out party and wear the pair to dinner. We were dining with Kiddo, who was grabbing them and almost pulling my earlobe into spacer-size, so I took them off and put them on the table.

You know where this is going, right?

Of course I left them there.

I finally got around to calling the restaurant this morning and GUESS WHAT THEY DIDN'T HAVE?

My Favorite Earrings.

I feel like putting out an ad and saying, "Listen West O waitress who stole my earrings, or Bus Boy who shoveled them into the dish tray when clearing the table. THESE WERE MY FAVORITE EARRINGS. I know you feel like you scored a big one when you took them, but THEY WERE FROM TARGET, ALL RIGHT? Like Mr. Wendell, that $2 meant a snack for you BUT THEY MEAN A WHOLE LOT MORE TO ME!"

Blog Party Music Week Wednesday

First, I know I promised double posts this week, and you're saying "Then WHERE'S THE DOUBLE POST FROM YESTERDAY, LIAR?"

Over at kristineonseventeen, y'all! It's the first of the month! (Wake up, wake up, wake up)

Today we're getting down to songs from or used in movies:

"Love" from Robin Hood:

I want to start crying hearing this again--it was the first "love sequence" in a movie that I didn't want to fast forward, but wanted to REWIND, over and over. I LOVE this song--I wanted to play it at my wedding. This Robin Hood was also my first crush. Yes, the fox.

"I Need a Hero" from Short Circuit 2:

GOD BLESS whoever actually uploaded THIS SCENE! Not kidding you, every time I heard this song on the radio and every time I DO hear this song, I ALWAYS picture this scene. After Robin Hood, I am pretty sure Johnny 5 was my second crush.


"Great Southern Land" from Young Einstein

Ok, I literally have tears in my eyes listening to this again, because I used to LOVE THIS SONG so much that I would rewind and rewind and replay this part from Young Einstein over and over again. It was so EPIC!

"I'm A-Runnin" from Tommy Tricker and the Stamp Traveler

I'm revealing with this how much Disney Channel my siblings and I used to watch because if you've seen this movie, I'm amazed. This chase scene was SO AMAZING with this song and we used to replay it ad nauseum (almost as often as we would replay and act out Girls of Rock and Roll from the Chipmunk Adventure, but I'm getting off course). Anyway, it wasn't until YEARS (and we're talking like 2008) later that I remembered this song and looked it up on Youtube and realized THIS IS RUFUS WAINWRIGHT! THIS IS RUFUS WAINWRIGHT!

"The Rockafella Skank" from She's All That

OMFG! Literally like watching my fantasies about what high school dances "must be like" come to life. I love Usher's smooth dance-direction from behind the tables. If this is high school, let me go back! And dance with Freddie Prinze Jr!