Thursday, February 4, 2010

Macro-HELL

I'm not "preg-nausea" sick any more, but DUDE, you should have SEEN me at this time last week! Vee had to stay home from work for TWO DAYS because I couldn't handle life!

Why?

FUCKING MACROBID!

Do you know what Macrobid is? While I have ABSOLUTELY NO SHAME about saying that I had to go on an antibiotic for an EXTREMELY COMMON PREGNANCY-RELATED CONDITION that I have ONLY HAD ONE OTHER TIME BEFORE (when I was pregnant with Kiddo), I understand not everyone wants to know about, you know, THAT KIND OF STUFF. So if you want to know what it treats, CLICK HERE.

Hey, no one said it was easy on a girl. For what it's worth, I NEVER HAVE ANY SYMPTOMS, so I have doubted my diagnosis both times, but I made a night nurse double-check my folder and she claimed the bacteria was present and accounted for, so I took my meds.

Because of my acid reflux, I was like, "Dudes, can I get a liquid suspension instead of a pill?" because when I had to pill it back in '07, it was THE ROUGHEST TEN DAYS OF MY LIFE. I would seriously cry and gag twice a day when I had to take those horse suckers. I am a girl who chews Flintstones vitamins, ok? Not. Pill. Friendly. So they called one in, and when Vee came home with it, he told me, dazedly, that it cost $100. I was like A HUNDRED DOLLARS? Our co-pay is $10!

No, man, our co-pay is USUALLY $10 and can go as high as $100. When you're taking a medication that normally costs $550 out of pocket, I guess you should thank God for insurance. And besides, I was like I DESERVE IT! No pills for me!

The sucky thing was that I was supposed to drink 2 teaspoons of this neon yellow liquid FOUR times a day now. For seven days. Tevs, doggy, it was still better than choking down pills! It was flavored like a really sick "banana" and within 30 minutes of drinking it, my pee came out THE EXACT SAME NEON YELLOW. Didn't want to know that? DUDE, I'M PREGNANT! If the worst thing you're reading is that my pee was neon yellow, you are going to want to STAY AWAY as I get closer to delivery, because the birth story for Kiddo is going to be NOTHING in comparison to the detail you're going to get with Newbie.

So: neon yellow pee. Not the coolest side effect in the world, but not too bad, all things considered. I'm gulping down my doses dutifully through five and a half days, when I wake up feeling like my lungs are compressed, I have a cough, a headache, and all of my muscles feel like I just moved out of a second story apartment in Iowa City. Vee had already left for work, so I got Kiddo up and changed her diaper, and then immediately went to the bathroom.

WHERE I VOMITED.

Four times. NEON YELLOW. With Kiddo sobbing beside me as, between heaves, I tried to implore her to "go find Kitty, go find Elmo."

It was the most offensive thing in my life. I NEVER, NEVER vomited during my first pregnancy, and I had been SOLIDLY over my nausea for three weeks. I WAS FIFTEEN WEEKS ALONG! Too late to vomit for the first time! My first instinct was to blame the antibiotic. So I did. And got out the good old list of side effects, WHICH I WAS DISPLAYING (vomit, headache, muscle ache, lung compression). My call to the nurse hotline resulted in being told I needed to finish the course, which made me start crying.

Friends, I am not lying to you when I tell you this: within 30 minutes of the next nine doses, I felt my symptoms kick into full gear. As they would start to wear off after about 4-5 hours, it was time for another dose which started the cycle again.

I felt like I was dying. It was worse than my nausea by FAR. Vee stayed home from work those two days and DAMN GOOD THING because I couldn't function.

I took my final dose last Thursday at 11am. The next morning, I woke up with NO SYMPTOMS AND NO PAIN, and Googled Macrobid to find tons of hell-lists of similar-symptomed and pained individuals reporting their experience.

What do I say? STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM MACROBID, especially if you're pregnant, and even if you've taken it before with no side effects. I took a ten day course back in 07 with no "problems" other than nausea and was five and a half days in before my hellstorm. THERE ARE OTHER DRUGS; TREAT IT ANOTHER WAY!

I know I will!