Thursday, February 12, 2009

Hipster Hire Hits on Helpless Hmwom

So the Kiddo had a rowdy waking night last night, and it left Vee and I exhausted. And of all days! It was 48 and sunny today, the last vestiges of spring on the horizon before we get smacked in the face with 6+ inches of snow tomorrow!

Vee came home early and we declared it "early weekend"--he stayed home with Kiddokabiddo while I went out a-thrifting (really, looking for ANY EXCUSE TO BE OUT OF THE HOUSE ALONE).

My first stop was this great thrift store called ThriftAmerica. I got 5 books for 44 cents apiece, which is the primary reason I love going to there. I can always spend $0.44 on a copy of "The Nanny Diaries!" I also love ThriftAmerica because it is NOT PART OF A THRIFT STORE CONGLOMERATE, which means they don't have those sneaky-ass kids screening the bags of stuff as they get dropped off so the "quality items" (also known as "ironic" or "adorably vintage") can get marked up.

Do you know how much I hate that? THE WHOLE POINT OF THRIFT STORES IS SO THAT POOR PEOPLE CAN BUY QUALITY ITEMS AT A REASONABLE PRICE! The second whole point of thrift stores is so that YOU CAN GET SOMETHING AWESOME FOR A RIDICULOUSLY LOW PRICE! If I wanted to pay antique store prices for an old canister set saying "flour," "sugar," and "tea," I WOULD GO TO AN ANTIQUE STORE!

You think my "sneaky-ass kids" thing is a paranoid lie, but the hipster teen who used to live in the apartment across from Vee and I back when we first lived here WORKED AT A GOODWILL. Do you SERIOUSLY think he got the job because of his work ethic, or BECAUSE, SINCE HE LOOKED LIKE CONOR OBERST (no, really: he actually did get mistaken for Obie often), THE GOODWILL MANAGER DECIDED HE WOULD KNOW HOW TO DESIGNATE ITEMS THAT HIPSTERS WOULD OVERPAY FOR?

Anyway! Locally owned thrift stores! Only way to go!

So when I was done at ThriftAmerica, I shamefully slunk across the street to (yep) Goodwill. Just to give it another look! I renounced this Goodwill back in November when I brought four bags of TOTALLY AWESOME AND USABLE STUFF to the drop-off spot and this 20-something who hated me for driving a Camry REFUSED TO MAKE EYE CONTACT WITH ME and MUTELY TOOK MY BAGS INSIDE. And did not come out! Didn't offer me the tax deduction form! Nothing!

But the cat came back, three months later!

As expected, everything was overpriced and I overpaid for a copy of AM Homes' Music for Torching ($1.99! I could have gotten four books over at ThriftAmerica and still had $0.23 towards my bean burrito at Taco Bell!). BUT! The twenty-something working the register! Said "Are you into rock music? You look like you're into rock music."


I quizzically looked at the dude (mentally doing a recall of what I was wearing: a black CASHMERE zip-up hoodie from Old Navy, some jeans that totally make me look like a mom, and my bangs were doing a skanky split-down-the-middle since I needed to shower--BUT I WAS NOT WEARING MY BABY!) and said, "I can be..." (thinking to myself "When was the last time I was able to define 'rock music' as anything other than adult contemporary?")

DUDE DECIDED THIS WAS A PEAK TIME TO TELL ME HE'S IN A BAND! And said band is "playing at Saddle Creek tonight" and "you should check us out" and then fumbled through his wallet, giving me THE ONLY COPY OF HIS BAND'S BUSINESS CARD (!!! BUSINESS CARD !!!) and boasting that "we're going to be on the radio soon."

Which radio station? Unspecified.

Dude, pirate radio DOES NOT A "MAJOR LABEL BAND" make.

FURTHERMORE! As I got home and LOOKED UP (I know) the business-card-carrying band, DUDE DID NOT MENTION THAT IT IS A METAL BAND!


I might sneak my first edition copies of Play It As It Lays by the sweet middle-aged woman at ThriftAmerica for 44 cents, but next time I need a reminder that I'm not too old to be band-picked-up, I know where I'm going!

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