I Wish I was April Fooling

When my rentinos, Gramma Goose and Grampa PhD, were in town, we dined at a fancy restaurant out on the west side of town. Since we were DININ' OUT, I wore my favorite pair of earrings.

Hold on, I have to talk about this pair of earrings.

So I got this pair of earrings way back in November 2006 to wear to a party celebrating my marriage, and they were SOOOOOO AWESOME that I wore them all the time afterwards. This hot pair of medium-size hoops with random black beads strung through the twisted metal. They were GORGEOUS!

I felt so cool when I would wear them with "just a t-shirt and jeans." Corny, but true.

Anyway, sometime during late Dec/early Jan 2007, one of the earrings took a hike. It was MYSTERIOUS! I conducted a full-out apartment scour for it, going through boxes I knew I hadn't been in for months leading up to the Earring Disappearance. I went through my summer clothes. I went through my winter clothes. I looked in vents and under rugs. My Favorite Earrings were no longer a pair.

Having had my ears pierced for over 15 years, this was hardly the first time this had happened to me. I can count on one hand, however, the number of Lone Rangers I am still holding onto hoping beyond hope that the missing one will make its way back to me (Black enamel heart stud, wherefore went thee? Gold peace sign dangler, I am talking to you too!).

With a sigh, I consigned Favorite Earring to the jewelry box so that AT LEAST someday I could have a template for finding a replacement.

Flash forward now to Christmas 2008. In my house. Three states away from the Earring Disappearance. My parents and sister were visiting, and we had just opened presents. I started cleaning up the wrapping debris on the floor, and WHAT I SAW MADE ME START.

IT WAS THE MISSING EARRING.

Before I could breathe, I darted back to the bedroom and looked in my jewelry box.

THE LONE RANGER WAS SITTING, SADLY, WHERE I HAD LEFT IT!

I brought it out, shock and awe on my face, and reunited the sisters. TO THIS DAY, I cannot explain how the Missing Earring wound up in my house. IT WAS GONE BEFORE I WENT TO MINNESOTA FOR CHRISTMAS in 07, so it couldn't have been attached to reused Christmas wrap bags!

IT WAS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!

So, two weeks ago, I decided to give My Favorite Earrings a coming-out party and wear the pair to dinner. We were dining with Kiddo, who was grabbing them and almost pulling my earlobe into spacer-size, so I took them off and put them on the table.

You know where this is going, right?

Of course I left them there.

I finally got around to calling the restaurant this morning and GUESS WHAT THEY DIDN'T HAVE?

My Favorite Earrings.

I feel like putting out an ad and saying, "Listen West O waitress who stole my earrings, or Bus Boy who shoveled them into the dish tray when clearing the table. THESE WERE MY FAVORITE EARRINGS. I know you feel like you scored a big one when you took them, but THEY WERE FROM TARGET, ALL RIGHT? Like Mr. Wendell, that $2 meant a snack for you BUT THEY MEAN A WHOLE LOT MORE TO ME!"