Home Show: Fake Out

It's kind of necessary for me to start today by announcing that, REGARDLESS of where My Best Friend gets married, I am thrilled to death that she has picked me as Honorable Woman and, as an honorable woman, I am also thrilled to death to help with the planning in any (and every) way I can.

Even if she gets married at the Taco Bell in the Haute (wouldn't that be AMAZING, btw, My Best Friend?).

We are so, so close to having the decals all put up on our walls, but Vee had to go strum his guitar last night at an Open Mike Jam, so I dutifully tried to watch television (no, seriously, I never watch TV any more. Case in point: my beloved, beloved ANTM? HAVEN'T SEEN A SINGLE EPISODE THIS SEASON. Working in the evening + yoga + baby = NO TUBE TIME) and couldn't find anything decent except home improvement shows.

Why are they so irresistible? LIKE I DON'T HAVE ENOUGH HOME IMPROVEMENT IDEAS BOUNCING AROUND IN MY HEAD/NOTEBOOK that I need to watch shows where they are much craftier than myself and then come up with more impossibilities?

My current house fantasies include, among other things, adding a real front porch to our house, which would permit a porch swing and some semblance of privacy.

Our house now:


Our house in fantasy world:


Ok, I just really revealed my HORRIBLE skills on the computer. I swear that I work with HTML for a living! But can you get a basic idea? Toss down some cement on those horrible bushes, extend the diagonal roof over and make a (gently sloping for visual interest, naturally) roof over the porch?

What will we really be spending money on this spring?

Crabgrass prevention and replacing the busted terracing on the "diagonal garden" at the corner of our house where the logs have bowed out to the point that a little buddy (woodchuck? raccoon? gigantic rat?) has tunneled in and made a little home for himself/herself.