Friday, January 15, 2010

Can I Get a "Plus One"?

So I’ve been conspicuously silent. “Conspicuous?” you’re saying to yourself, “More like LAZY AND WITHOUT JUST CAUSE! Fie upon thee, fickle blogger!”

CONSPICUOUS, I say unto you!

For a REASON! Just cause! Why’s that?

Here’s a hint: I was NAUSEATED FOR SIX WEEKS STRAIGHT. And when I say STRAIGHT, I mean “Able to avoid feeling sick until within 10 minutes of Vee’s arrival home every work day, and then literally spending the evening staring into space, unable to comprehend doing anything as taxing as reading, watching TV, or eating.”

No, seriously, dude, I have never been smacked in the face with such STUPID nausea in my life. Not the morning after 8 red-cup-size servings of champagne at Shannon’s 21st birthday party (DUDE, IT WAS THE WORST HANGOVER IN THE WORLD! Wine hangovers are NOTHING compared to champagne hangovers!). Not when I crowed about avoiding the stomach flu sweeping UIowa the winter of ’03 only to REALIZE I DRUG IT HOME WITH ME FOR CHRISTMAS BREAK and spent the first four days home huddled under blankets in my old twin-size bed, freezing and sweating and vomming.

THIS NAUSEA! How could it be so CONTROLLED?! How could I COMMAND IT TO WAIT FOR VEE’S ARRIVAL yet be unable to COMMAND IT TO STOP?

It took me out of the game. And by “the game,” I mean the Life Game. You sad I wasn’t blogging? You didn’t see me in EVERYDAY LIFE. You think I was emailing ANYONE? You think I was calling ANYONE? You think Kiddo got to go ANYWHERE? Keep in mind this was during the HOLIDAZE. You think I was A GRACIOUS HOST at Thanksgiving or CHRISTMAS? I tried, but Vee had to step up his game and make sure everyone had, you know, enough toilet paper. I was busy spacing out on the couch and accepting pats of congratulations.

CONGRATULATIONS!

Because VEE AND I ARE EXPECTING KIDDOKABIDDO’S LITTLE SIBLING IN JULY!

Boom shaka-laka!

We’ve been telling people we know in real life as we see them, but today we finally got the superstitious good news of A HEARTBEAT!

Newbie was squirming like crazy in there and the little heart was cranking away healthily. And my body has def grown enough to accommodate him/her. HIM/HER. Reason 29 why we will probably find out this kiddo’s sex because I LIKE TO CALL MY CHILD BY NAME. And not IT-ify Newbie.

Come on, moms and dads, tell me about how you didn’t want to find out because “it’s the only true surprise you have in your life.” (direct quote from my mom, who bore us kids during the age when ULTRASOUNDS FOR SEX DID NOT EXIST)

I was once like you. No, I mean REALLY, I WAS ONCE LIKE YOU. I was SO SASSY and RIDICULOUSLY CONFIDENT that I felt SORRY for people who did find out. I was like, “Dude, it is totally like sneaking a look at your Christmas presents ahead of time. RUIN YOUR OWN SURPRISE, but I ain’t peekin!” And then I got pregnant with Kiddo. And I wanted to know who I was talking to.

But ANYWAY! TOTAL DIGRESSION since we’re not even ON THAT for another 6 weeks.

The point is: I’m pregnant. In my second trimester. And no longer nauseated every day. And now YOU know why I’ve been quiet on the blog front.

2 comments:

Emily said...

Finally! I got tired of checking it and was about to give up:)

Grace said...

YAY! I know I've told you this like a bazillion times, but I'm so happy for all yall! And I'm happy that you're not nauseous & back on the blogging front!